EMBODYING THE SACRED FEMININE
For I am the first and the last
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness,
I am shameless: I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and I am peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.
“The Thunder, Perfect Mind”
Excerpts of poem from Nag Hamadi Library.
Unknown Author
Seeing me now, it is difficult to imagine the shy, insecure young woman that I once was. Born and raised as a Catholic in Hong Kong, I was taught well to be a dutiful Chinese daughter. A crisis in 1985 awakened me from this illusion, and I was propelled on a spiritual odyssey, which has taken me on a labyrinth path from Jung to Taoism, Shamanism, Buddhism and finally to the ancient religion of Tibet, known as Bön. I also immersed myself in the study of energy, quantum physics, and neurobiology. It was not easy to stay connected to my inner voice and trust the visions that guided me. There were times of doubts and confusion, but I kept surrendering to this mysterious “Calling” in my soul. It was not a path of certainty nor logic, but that of Feminine Wisdom. Having found refuge in Bön Buddhism, I settled into a decade of teachings and practice, when my journey took another interesting turn.
Two years ago, I received an email from Rene, whose friend connected us as he thought we shared mutual interests. “Would you like to come to Southern France to present at a conference on Tibetan Healing practices?” he wrote from his Nepal home base, having moved there years ago from Belgium. In the course of his convoluted, disorganized messages, the conference turned into a solo presentation. Inclined to say no to traveling across the continent at a request of this stranger, I was nonetheless intrigued by his passion for Celtic Dharma, “There is a connection between the Celtic tradition, the Holy Grail and Tibetan Buddhism,” he told me. As a Jungian therapist, I had studied Celtic symbolism, the Grail legend and its archetypes, and hearing that they are related to Tibetan Buddhism captured my attention. However, I needed a bit more to make the leap, so I sought guidance in a shamanic journey. In a trance state, I flew out of my body and landed in front of an arched doorway, set into the side of a mountain. I knocked on the door and asked for permission to cross the threshold. I could smell a strong, musty yet sweet scent. It was dark inside, and as my eyes adjusted, I recognized I was in a cave. Images of a circle of men appeared. I caught glimpses of strange insignia on the front of their clothing, which looked ancient and sacred. In the center of the circle was a stream of golden light in which stood a female figure. I asked for her name. She spoke only one word, “Trust!” This was reason enough for me to make the trip. As soon as I got this answer, I was back into my body, which was vibrating and filled with bliss. Four of my students accompanied me in October, 2007, to Southern France. None of us knew how it would unfold.
I arrived a day earlier and there at the airport smiling at me, was Rene, with his long hair flowing, dressed in his Tibetan purple silk shirt, which seemed to me later to be the only garment he owned. Over dinner that evening, Rene showed me a book of local powerplaces. As I flipped the pages while relishing my steamed mussels and salad nicoise, I suddenly froze as I saw the arched doorway. “Is there a cave behind this door?” I asked. Rene nodded, amused by the sudden change in my demeanor. “This is the cave of St.Tropheme, or Lazarus,” he said. “ Mary Magdalene’s brother.” All at once, a golden light appeared, and I knew beyond a doubt that the figure I had seen was none other than Mary Magdalene, whom I had only known as the penitent prostitute healed by Jesus.
The others arrived soon after, and we were tested to be patient and allow the unfolding. One of the participants misplaced her medication, and her initial anxiety was met by an outpouring of love and support, which transformed her frenzy into laughter and joy. We began the pilgrimage with a ritual in a small village where an iron statue of the Black Madonna resides, three stories high. The love that we had all felt the previous evening emerged again, and I sensed a vibration coursing throughout my body, and an opening of the earth underneath my feet. I felt as if I were on fire, engulfed by an inexplicable sense of joy, that spilled into my dreams. Carried by this profound energy, we left Nice the following day and headed west to visit the sacred sites of Mary Magdalene.
Each day we deepened our journey until we came to an obscure village in a mountainous region. As I stood inside an ancient church, I experienced entering a portal to another dimension, and a feminine energy came repeatedly with messages and guidance. I looked up and saw a small arch window carved into the walls, and through it, I could see a faint white image along the side of a mountain. As I stared into that white spot, a pulsating energy entered my forehead, shot through the back of my head, and straight out another window into the fields beyond. I was in a powerful meditative state filled with white light. “That is the cave of St Tropheme!” said Rene, affirming my experience. He proceeded to explain that the land we were standing on was part of a mandala known as the Isle of Crystal, or Caer Sidi, which was a sacred archaeological site of the Celtics, Cathares, and Knights Templar. “It was an ancient seat of rituals and initiation for healing and divination practices,” he told me. “which descended originally from the Black Sea and the Asian Steppes, and continued into early Roman times, encompassing the Holy Grail legend.” Rene was giving me information far too complicated for me to digest. He added that beginning in the 1970s, Tibetan monasteries were built on Celtic powerplaces in France and the U.K. By 1985, Tibetan lamas, including Rene’s teacher, recognized that this mandala site could be a portal to the Celtic Annwn (the land of ancestors, or the Tibetan Shambhala), if approached with the right “keys”, which Rene had been researching for three decades. “You must have a strong karmic connection to this place!” he smiled mysteriously.
Returning to Los Angeles with visions and messages, I dove into reading the Gospel of Mary Magdalene (translated by Jean-Yves Leloup), which was first discovered in an antique shop in Egypt. It was moved to Cairo and then housed since 1896 in the National Museum of Berlin as part of the Berlin Papyrus. Written in Sahidic Coptic language, the original is estimated to have been written around 150 C.E., making it the oldest text of Christianity. Together with the Gnostic Gospels, which were unearthed in 1945, they are known as the Nag Hamadi Library. I was surprised to discover that Mary Magdalene was revered in early Christianity, until 591AD, when Pope Gregory pronounced her a ‘prostitute’. What was even more astounding to me, was that the church repealed this proclamation in 1969. Yet, this significant piece of Christian history was relatively unknown, and her teachings remained obscured and unrecognized by the church.
Though I had left the institution of Catholicism, I retained a strong connection to the essence of Christ consciousness and the Blessed Mother. However, I had never been drawn to follow Mary Magdalene, even when the “Da Vinci Code” became so popular. But here I was, making a detour from my Buddhist readings, to immerse myself in the study of ancient Christianity, Gnosticism, and reading everything I could about “the exiled bride.” Popular fiction revived interest in Mary Magdalene, but the controversy focused on whether she was Jesus’ consort, and whether or not she carried the royal blood in her womb. Few have addressed the wisdom of her teachings, and the fact that she was Jesus’ closest disciple, the one who first saw Jesus alive at the tomb. Far from being a repentant sinner, Mary Magdalene was the apostle of the apostles.
Hearing her messages resounding in my heart, I opened her gospel teachings given to her by Jesus, and as I read the first few lines, I immediately understood the esoteric, subtle meanings, which were strikingly similar to Tibetan Buddhism, especially Dzögchen, the highest, innermost teachings. Throughout the thin volume, Jesus repeated these words to Mary Magdalene, “Those who have ears, let them hear.” These were new teachings given to Magdalene, and were meant only for those who have cultivated a subtle perception, a special kind of understanding and direct knowing that is all embracing. “All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other… Everything returns to its roots…Attachment to matter gives rise to passion against nature… There is no sin. It is you who makes sin exist, when you act according to the habits of your corrupted nature. This is where sin lies.” Everything in life is impermanent, interdependent, and what causes suffering is our attachment to matter. ‘Sin’, in Greek means ‘to miss the mark’. Jesus is teaching that sin arises from identifying with our attachment and separation of the self with ‘other,’ and ‘misses the mark’ of our true nature. This ignorance of our essence and the wisdom of impermanence generate illusion and attachment to matter, resulting in suffering, which is what Buddhism teaches in the Four Noble Truths.
The more I read and understood, the deeper I felt the connection between the teachings of Mary Magdalene, the Gnostic Gospels and Tibetan Buddhism, what Rene termed Celtic Dharma. I believe this is now coming to human consciousness, which has been dominated by patriarchal values, and fed by a climate of consumerism, greed, and aggressive takeovers. The effect is now being felt globally. Mary Magdalene symbolizes this return to Feminine wisdom and direct knowing. This path of deep self-knowledge, or gnosis, can only come about through the cultivation of a special form of conscious attention and wisdom which is the doorway to visionary knowledge. The way in, as her gospel teaches, is through Stillness, Silence, and Breath. Her wisdom teaches us to honor collaboration, harmony with each other and the environment, compassion and the ability to BE!
As I prepare for the third pilgrimage this coming October, I am called to move deeper towards embodying the sacred feminine through the teachings of Mary Magdalene and to bring to awareness the messages inherent in Celtic Dharma. It speaks of unity between East and West, spirit and nature, and the union of the feminine and masculine principles. In recognizing how far I have traveled from the fearful, suppressed woman I once was, I am in awe of a transformation of which we are all capable, and gives faith to the power of change. Globally we are on the edge of a precipice, and this crisis can serve as an awakening to the purpose and meaning of our lives. Through cultivating the Feminine mind, which can balance the masculine energy in co-creating a new partnership for the future, we can come together to journey into our inner Isle of Crystal, and bring this message of balance and compassionate wisdom to others.
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